


Discovering You

by Cassie_Madds



Series: Discovering You [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chubby! Castiel, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Fat! Castiel, M/M, Marriage, Multi, Weight Gain, past drug and alcohol abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-07 08:47:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17362811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassie_Madds/pseuds/Cassie_Madds
Summary: When Kelly died after giving birth to their beautiful little boy Jack, Castiel is left to raise his teenage daughter Claire and newborn baby Jack by himself while balancing an overbearing CEO position in his company and his failing mental and physical health. Three years pass when he decides that a change of scenery is absolutely needed. He sells their house in New York city, packs his family and their possessions up and re-roots them in the small town of Arrowhead, Missouri.Claire struggles with accepting her new life where they live and is faced with challenges she isn't prepared to deal with. Her father has taken a quick liking to their new neighbor, Dean Winchester who happens to own the bakery in town. She can't help but feel like Castiel is trying to fill the void of her mother by replacing her. Claire isn't a big fan of the local baker in the slightest and struggles to accept her father's new boyfriend.Moving has brought about challenges the Novak family would have never anticipated. And it's exactly what they needed.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: Drug and alcohol abuse mentions, depression and suicide mentions, character death mentions.  
> I didn't feel the need to use the archive warnings because this all happens in the past in the plot of the story and doesn't sufficiently describe the warning.
> 
> I'll be changing the title, I just don't what to yet haha! Please give me your feedback! I would love to know what you think of this story so far!!

A sigh escaped his lips, hands on his wide, plush hips and looking proud of the work he'd done. There were boxes piled high all throughout the house, a sharpie in his hand. Castiel started to mark each box with the appropriate room. Claire sealed the boxes with the masking tape while little Jack hid behind them giggling. Gabriel, Castiel's brother, helped them move the boxes into his truck. The rest of the boxes were piled carelessly into Castiel's Lincoln. The drive from NYC, New York to Arrow Rock, Missouri was close to eighteen hours long. It was the end of summer vacation and Claire wasn't looking forward to starting school in a place she didn't know. With those thoughts floating around in her head, she dozed off to the calming sounds of the road and the vision of the country side.

It wasn't a very big town, a population of about 58 people. "Really, Dad? Out of all the places in the world, you decided to move to the middle of no where?" Claire spat, obviously disgusted by the place. Castiel held Jack in his arms, careful not to wake him as he closed the car door. He gave Claire a look and rolled his eyes. "Yes, Claire, I think it's a nice place and I'm sure you'll like it too. Just give it time." They walked into the house, Gabriel had gotten there before them and had set up Jack's room with his bed. Castiel decided he would start the painting tomorrow. He brought his little one to the bedroom and tucked him in gently, kissing Jack's forehead before leaving the room. Once the door was closed behind him, he turned down the hall into Claire's bedroom. Him and Gabriel started to set up her bed while she went through her boxes for her bedding. Once the bed was finished, Castiel helped her place the mattress on and place the sheets down. "Tomorrow we'll set up the dresser and everything else, okay? Maybe we'll start painting too." Claire nodded, and Castiel looked at her. He crossed the room to sit on her bed, motioning for her to come sit beside him. She was reluctant but made her way over to the bed and plopped herself down beside her father. "I know that this will be hard for you, but it's hard for me too." Castiel placed an arm around her shoulders and let her settle into his soft chest and belly, her arms creeping up to wrap around his large waist. "I left behind the house your mother and I bought when we were 20, the house that we raised our beautiful daughter in, the house that holds beautiful memories." Claire looked up at her father then, tears in her eyes. "I left behind your mother, my best friend and wife. I left behind the house that she gave birth to two beautiful children in, the house that holds the memories of your unborn brother and sister. Claire, it's hard. I just want you to know that you aren't alone and that you're not the only one hurting." Castiel wiped his girl's tears away and kissed her forehead, rubbed his nose against hers gently. They sat in sad silence for a moment until Claire spoke. "Thanks dad." Castiel smiled softly, which was a rarity considering how stone faced he'd been over the past three years since Kelly's death. 

The next day came sooner than Claire would've liked, she woke up to an empty room, bare walls. She sighed as she left the room behind, looks like dad has already started unpacking. The walls in the living room, hallway, bathroom and kitchen were already painted with gorgeous shades of cool gray, navy blue and baby blue. That's partially why her father bought the house, half the work was already done. He just had to paint the bedrooms. The kitchen was set up already, with the help of Gabriel and Jack. The living room was done too, the new couches and the coffee tables had been delivered that morning, the tv was mounted to the wall above the long display table that held photo albums and picture frames. Claire smiled as she scanned the photos, her mother and father on their wedding day, all dressed up and smiling at each other lovingly. A family photo of Castiel, Claire and Jack, the one they took last year. Pictures of Claire and Jack together and then portraits of them individually. In total there were five photos on the display table, ten photo albums underneath on the shelf and an old bible. The dining room was set up too, the table was a nice light oak and the chairs matched with white cushion seats. A box was set on the table, full of the photos that needed to be hung. Gabriel was in the kitchen helping Castiel put dishes away. Jack was sitting on the floor playing with his milk cup, rolling it around and spilling the white liquid all over the floor. Claire shook her head as her father sighed, taking the cup from his almost three old and placing it on the counter. "How about while you're painting, I take this little goober out so he doesn't get in your way?" Gabriel suggested as he handed Castiel some paper towel. Castiel sighed in relief, "That would be great, thank you." Gabriel smirked and ruffled Jack's hair. "No problem, little bro." 

 

A week passed and they had finally settled in somewhat, Gabriel had left a couple days ago and Castiel had finally gotten around to doing a full grocery shop. The house was finished, painted and furnished to Castiel's liking. It was a lazy Saturday, the morning seemed to drag by as Claire, Jack and Castiel sat in the living room watching tv. Jack more playing with his toys while their father sipped on his fundamental morning coffee. "You guys haven't even gotten a look at town yet. On my way to the grocery store a couple days ago I passed a little bakery. What do you say we give it a try today, huh?" Castiel asked as he raised the coffee mug to his lips, his deep, gravelly voice breaking the silence of the room. Jack looked up at him with a hopeful smile, one word tumbling off his lips. "Cake?" Castiel looked over at the little boy and shrugged. "Maybe, I don't know. We'll have to see." Claire shrugged, she wouldn't mind getting out for something sweet. "Sure, dad." Castiel curtly nodded once. "But first, coffee."

They drove down to the little bakery, the exterior was very modern with red and white striped window shades, an outdoor seating area and light fluffy colors. Claire looked up to the sign that read 'A Slice Of Heaven' and she rolled her eyes, how cheesy. Jack led the way inside, quickly followed by Castiel as he called his name, telling him not to walk away. Claire followed suit, the smells flooded her nostrils. Sweet and savory, enough to make her mouth water. She spotted her father and little brother looking at the display case of baked goods. "As if dad needs more sweets..." Her thoughts blared, sure it was rude but it was true. Castiel was a sympathy gainer, so when Kelly got pregnant with their four children, each time he gained more weight than the last time. It got worse with Jack though, the whole time she was pregnant she'd tease him. Claire smiled at the fond memories, her mother would poke his belly gently and say something along the lines of, "I thought I was the one who's pregnant?" The flustered look that would appear on her father's face was priceless every time. He was bigger than she was, but Kelly didn't mind at all. Normally, he would've lost the weight later on but it never happened. Kelly died shortly after giving birth to Jack, she had been ill for a couple years. Castiel turned to food to comfort him since that day and he rarely smiled or laughed. Claire had finally convinced him to go see a therapist early last year and it had been helping a lot. Now though, they had to start over, she would have to make him go look for a therapist close to town. Jack babbled loudly, calling her name and pulling her out of her thoughts. "Cake?" He said happily with a large smile on his face, Castiel was talking to a tall man with long brown hair. A lady rounded the corner from the back of the bakery carrying a tray of brownies towards the display case. She had short blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. She stopped to talk to Castiel as well, introducing herself as Mary and smiling at Jack. She kept him busy with questions and Jack happily talked. Castiel smiled gently as Claire walked up to the counter. The tall man with the brown hair greeted her with a smile, his name tag read 'Sam'. He walked towards the back area of the bakery and disappeared through the doors. Another man soon came out, he was slightly shorter then Sam and had bright green eyes and dirty blonde hair. His name tag read 'Dean', Claire noticed. "Hey," Dean greeted her, his voice was deep and rough with a southern twang to it. Castiel looked up and Claire watched as her father literally did a double take. She looked back over towards Dean, whose eyes were trailing up and down her father's body. She knew there was something wrong. Bakers weren't skinny, but they could be if they were chubby chasers. Castiel didn't seem to notice however as Dean's eyes landed on his large, round belly. Claire glared at the man behind the counter, he better not flirt with her father or she'd be angry. Claire quickly dismissed the thought and busied her mind by listening to Jack talk happily to the lady behind the counter. The man whose name was written to be Dean on his name tag regarded the three new comers with a slight smile on his face. He had never seen them in town before. "Hey, my name's Dean. What can I get for you today?" Castiel looked over at his children and Jack was bouncing excitedly, pulling on Claire's hand and pointing to the cake in the display case. "I'm guessing you'll want cake as well?" Claire only nodded, pulling Jack towards Castiel in a hasty manner. Jack clung to Castiel's thigh, wrapping an arm around his leg tenderly, his thumb in his mouth. Castiel swatted at Jack's hand gently, he was too old to suck his thumb. Dean looked at the two, mesmerized at the way the dark haired man's thighs swallowed up the child's arm. He was brought back to reality by a quiet, deep voice. "Can we have 4 slices of the triple chocolate cake, please?" Claire's eyes moved to her father, a little shocked. The last thing he needs is more sweets. Her eyes traveled down to his belly in concern, her mother died 3 years ago and he was still grieving over her. She supposed that the copious amounts of food comforted him in a way she couldn't understand. Either way, he seemed to continue piling on weight. Claire sighed as Castiel pulled Jack off his leg and into his arms. Jack giggled loudly and clapped his hands together, squealing joyfully. Castiel took Jack away to one of the tables and sat him down in the booth, Jack scooted over towards the wall to let his father sit down beside him. Castiel lowered himself down onto the side of the booth and struggled to squish his belly through the tight space. Claire's face heated in embarrassment as she watched her father squeeze himself between the table and the booth. He eventually got himself situated and was breathing heavier than he would like to admit. Claire joined her family at the table just as Dean and the blond woman approached with their food. Claire looked at the woman's name tag, Mary, she was rather pretty. The plates were set down on the table and Dean smiled at Castiel after a quick glance at his current seating situation, his belly swallowing some of the table. Castiel thanked them, oblivious to Dean's lingering eyes. He picked his fork up and began to dig in to one of his two slices of cake. Jack already had chocolate icing and cake crumbs all over his lips, similar story with his father. Claire couldn't believe her father sometimes. How he became the co-CEO of one of the largest companies in America was beyond her.

He worked for a company called Golden Enterprises Holdings, stationed out of New York City with branches in over 30 states. Golden Enterprises Holdings is a global leader in communications technologies, eco manufacturing, and next generation farming solutions. The company was established in 1986, Castiel had been working there for 30 years. He started as an intern when he was 16 and worked his way up the line into management, he was hoping to take over the company as soon as the current CEO retires.

Claire picked at her cake, it was good but it was so rich that it almost made her feel sick, her father on the other hand had devoured his two slices while Jack was mucking in his with his hands. Castiel was desperately trying to get Jack to listen to him, holding a napkin in his hand with a stern expression on his face. He never got angry with Claire or Jack, frustrated yes but never angry. Castiel has never raised his voice to either of them, never physically punished them or taken away privileges. He didn't believe in anger, instead he tried to reason with his kids. Mom was different though, Claire remembered how she used to yell or take away television time. Kelly Klein was a great mom, and Claire really missed her. That's part of the reason why they moved to Arrow Rock in the first place, Castiel couldn't stand to live in the house he shared with his wife for many years before her death. It broke his heart, waking up alone, knowing she was never coming back. His therapist had suggested moving to him once in their sessions and he took it to heart. That led them to today, sitting in a little, cozy bakery in a town they didn't recognize surrounded by people they didn't know. Claire accidentally sighed loudly, causing her father to stop struggling with his stubborn 3 year old to look over at her with concern. His blue eyes reflected sadness and worry, and Claire immediately felt guilty. "Claire? What's wrong?" His voice was low and hesitant, she could feel the tears starting to sting the corners of her eyes. A tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek slowly, the look on her father's face was absolutely heart breaking. He sighed gently and struggled to get out of the booth. Claire wiped her eyes, quick to speak up. "Dad, I'm fine. Don't worry about it." She laughed as he grunted softly. "Well, I have to get out whether you want me to or not." A small smile danced on his lips for a mere second as he finally pulled himself out, grabbing Jack's arm and the napkin. Successfully, he cleaned up his messy 3 year old and they went on their way home. 

The sun set through their living room window, casting shadows all over the furniture. Castiel was watching tv with jack asleep beside him on the couch. Claire had decided she wanted to go explore town by herself and left an hour ago. He was about to take Jack to bed when he heard a knock at the door. He left the sleeping child on the couch and quietly padded over towards the front door, he didn't remember locking it. Even if he did, Claire had a key. She probably forgot it though. He checked the lock and it was open, he curiously opened the door and was surprised to see the blond man from the bakery. He was holding a container in his arms, a smile on his face. He seemed surprised though too. 

People didn't usually pass through town often so it only made sense that this man and his family were the ones who bought the house across from him. It was nice inside from what he could see.  
"Hey, sorry for bothering you this late." Dean smiled sheepishly as he watched the dark haired man casually check his watch. "It's only 7:30, no bother." He said, his voice quiet and deep. Dean almost didn't hear it. The man invited him inside. "Make yourself at home. I'll just put Jack to bed and I'll be right back." Dean watched as the man across from him scooped the little one into his arms tenderly and left the room. He came back quickly though and Dean stood up from his spot on the couch. "I'm Dean Winchester by the way, don't know if I introduced myself earlier today." He stuck his hand out awkwardly, thankfully the shorter man didn't notice and shook it anyways. "Castiel Novak. It's a pleasure to meet you, Dean." Dean handed him the container and Castiel took it to the kitchen. He followed him there, Dean had only been in this house once and that was when he greeted the last family who lived here. This house was fairly new, 10 years old, whereas the other houses on the cul-de-sac were around 25. The last family didn't stay long and the house didn't sell for a long time until now. Castiel seemed friendly enough though so Dean didn't mind. 

"Would you like any tea or coffee? Water perhaps?" Castiel's voice broke through the silence and Dean trained his wandering eyes on him. "Sure, coffee sounds great, thanks." He sat down at the island counter and they made small talk while Castiel fiddled with his keurig. "What brought you to Arrow Rock?" Dean asked curiously, looking around the space again and admiring the colors and decor. Castiel turned to him, two coffee cups in his hands. He set one down in front of Dean and sat across from him. "We needed a change of scenery, somewhere that was simple." Dean nodded, made sense, the country was such a peaceful place to live. "Where did you move from?" Dean looked to Castiel, the blue eyed man was stirring the contents of his cup, Dean guessed it was tea. He looked up and simply responded. "New York City." That's a huge move, Dean thought, and definitely a huge change. "I know, I know. It was a long process." Castiel continued, it must have shown on Dean's face how big a change it was. "I've never been to New York City, is it as busy as Hollywood movies make it out to be?" Castiel smiled at that, nodding. "Absolutely, if anything, it's worse." Dean laughed. "Really?" Another nod from Castiel. "So, you work at the bakery?" Castiel asked, quickly glancing over to the container he set on the counter top. Dean smiled. "Yeah, I own it. Opened it a couple years ago and business is good. Baked goods always sell." Castiel's tongue flicked out between lips briefly and he pulled the container towards him. Dean watched as he opened it curiously, peeking at the contents of the container. "That's great, you'll probably see me often." Castiel teased as he poked his head out of the container with a small smile on his face. "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I assume you worked when you lived in New York, where do you work now?" Dean was genuinely curious, it's not often people move out to Arrow Rock, there aren't many jobs out here unless you're a farmer, and this man didn't look like the farming type. Castiel closed the container. "I work for a company called Golden Enterprises Holdings, I'm the co-CEO. I often work from home." Dean's eyes widened, that company handled a lot of the towns agriculture equipment and field solutions. "Wow, really? That's crazy!" Castiel puffed out a little laugh. "I came here a couple years ago when Arrow Rock first started using GEH's equipments and solutions. It was my job to check on clients and customers. The farmers of this town were very impressed and left a really great review of the products which my boss was happy to see." Dean smiled, "That's awesome, man!" 

They talked for a while longer before Dean thanked Castiel for the coffee and decided to head home. Dean was leaving right as Claire was walking through the door, she noticed him right away and made a face. Castiel introduced them to each other. "Claire, this is Dean. He lives down the street and owns the bakery in town." Claire was about to tell her father that, yeah, she knew that already and that this man had been eyeing him the whole time they were in that bakery. She didn't though, instead she looked over at him. "Hey." Dean smiled. "Nice to meet you, Claire." She nodded and kicked her shoes off, turning to leave. Castiel sighed as she left. "Teenagers..." He shook his head slowly. Dean only chuckled slightly. "I wouldn't know, I don't have kids." Castiel laughed. "Sometimes it's hell." After Dean left, Castiel closing and locking the door behind him, he made his way over to Claire's room. Her door was closed but light trickled out from underneath it. He promptly knocked, quietly as to not wake Jack. She didn't answer so Castiel assumed that she was listening to music with her headphones on. He slowly turned the knob and opened the door just a tad. Claire was sitting on her bed with her laptop, probably scrolling through some website or searching up youtube videos. He entered her room and seated himself on the edge of her bed. She looked up at him, taking her headphones off and shutting her laptop. "How was your walk?" Castiel started cautiously. Claire didn't seem to be in the mood to talk right now so he decided that it was best to tread lightly. Claire shrugged, "It was okay, not a lot to see really." Castiel nodded, "Did you get to see the high school?" "Yeah, it's okay." She replied simply. "We'll be going next week to meet the principle and get a tour of the school, figure out which class you'll be in. That's exciting right?" Castiel was trying, he really was, but it was hard to communicate with Claire. He was never really good at that, she got along better with her mother. They would talk for hours but it seemed like it was extremely tense whenever he talked to her. Claire wasn't as open around him. "Yeah. I guess." Claire turned towards her laptop again and opened it up. She went to put her headphones on again when her father's hand fell on her wrist gently. Claire looked to him, his eyes filled with worry and pain. She softened at that, she had been really harsh towards him over the past couple of months leading up to move. Claire knew her father was doing his best to take care of them all, he only wanted what was best for them. "Awe, dad, c'mon. Don't make that face." She attempted to joke but he wasn't having any of it. "You can't keep pushing me away like this, Claire. I know I'm not the best at communicating and I'm working on that, but you need to tell me what's going on. I feel like we don't talk..." Castiel trailed off and his eyes closed slowly, sighing softly. He continued. "I know it's been hard lately and that you resent me for moving us here but you can't shut me out. I have to know what's going on so that I can help you through it. I'm not like your mother, I can't just talk with you like she did. It's hard for me too, Claire but we have to communicate with each other in order to help each other." Claire pursed her lips as she adverted her gaze down to the stickers covering her laptop. "I'm not asking you to treat me like your best friend, but I want to have a relationship with you. We don't have to talk but I feel like we don't spend enough time together. I want to get to know you." Claire felt tears stinging at her eyes and she clenched them shut, willing the tears to go away. After a moment she opened her eyes again and turned to her father. He gave her a tight smile, his eyes glazed with sadness. "How about we go do something this weekend, just you and me. I'll find someone to watch Jack." Claire nodded, "Sure dad, that sounds great." The words got caugth in her throat and came out quiet and hoarse, but her father heard them and gave her a small smile. "Okay," He took his hand away and stood up, starting to walk towards the door. He turned quickly and looked at his daughter with a small smile. "Thanks for the talk, sweetie. Sleep well, okay?" Claire gave him a little smile back. "Okay, goodnight." She watched as he left the room, shutting the door quietly. Claire sighed, it had been a long day, she closed her eyes and sighed. "Tomorrow's a new day..."


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have most of the chapters for this story written out already so they could be ready for posting. I hope you guys enjoy it!! Please let me know what you think!!

Jack jumped up and down on the bed, his father groaning when Jack would land on his belly. The child giggled as he bounced. Castiel sighed as he opened his eyes, squinting at the sudden light filling the room. He yawned, stretching his arms above his head. Jack stopped bouncing to grab his father's arms, squeezing his little hands into the soft flesh. Castiel whinned softly, Jack kept pinching at his arm and he sat up abruptly to push the child off him. Jack squealed as he went tumbling across the bed. "Morning..." Castiel grumbled, sleepily as he threw the blankets off himself. He pulled on a t-shirt and some plaid pajama pants. Jack was rolling around on the bed, he had too much energy. Castiel looked over at his alarm clock, 7:30. He picked Jack up off the bed and left his room. He sat the child down on the couch in the living room and turned the tv on. He yawned as he made his way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. After filling the keurig, he grabbed a cup out of the cupboard. The k-cups were stored in a little box by the keurig, he looked through the box and found a cup. Caramel flavoured, it would have to do. He put it in the machine, turning it on. Saturday morning cartoons filled the room, the sound of Scooby-doo's voice floated into the kitchen. "Roh-oh!" Jack repeated the dog on screen, squealing as he did so. Claire would probably come sauntering out of bed soon, so Castiel rooted through the pantry to find something to cook for breakfast. The coffee machine dinged, yelling from the corner of the counter. He heard footsteps behind him, assuming it was Claire. "Good morning." Castiel looked over his shoulder, Claire just gave him the peace sign and continued on to the coffee machine. She grabbed a mug from the cupboard and moved her father's coffee cup to the island where he usually sat in the mornings. "Can you get me a k-cup?" Claire asked, looking as her father stood in the doorway of the pantry. She briefly had the idea of trying to push him inside it. That would be pretty entertaining at best until he got out and killed her. He grunted in reply and bent over. Claire couldn't believe how huge her father was right now, she needed to convince him to start running with her again. She glanced over at the counters, the book her father had been reading to Jack was set beside his laptop, a water bottle, some notes and pens were scattered around his little make-shift work station. His office wasn't finished yet, he needed to paint and furnish the room. The office was the second biggest room in the house and it was huge. Claire didn't quite understand why he needed such a big space but then again, she didn't really know what it was he exactly did. She thought back to the old house and how the kitchen table was so full of paperwork, files, notebooks and other crap that they couldn't even use it. They ate dinner in the living room everyday and everyday dad said the same thing. "I'm trying to find a space to put it but there's just no space." If the office didn't get finished soon the whole counter would become cluttered with his work stuff. She rolled her eyes and moved on from his stuff to the container sitting in the middle of the island. Castiel had already placed the k-cup in the machine and turned it on for her when she turned to ask what was in the container. "Cookies, Dean brought them as a welcoming gift." Claire nodded, lifting the lid off slightly to see what kind they were. Classic chocolate chip, good to know, they'd probably all be gone in the next hour. Castiel sat down at the island in front of his laptop, sipping his coffee groggily and opening it to check his emails. Claire made up her coffee and joined him, she briefly glanced at the laptop screen, too many words for it being so early. "No breakfast today?" She sipped her coffee, looking over the rim of her mug to see her father looking over at her. He looked exhausted, like he usually did these days. "You are capable of cooking something, aren't you?" Claire set her mug down. "Well you don't have to get so snippy." She tossed the comment over her shoulder in an annoyed manner, crossing the kitchen towards the fridge to find some eggs. Her father gave an irritated sigh behind her, loud and dramatic. Claire could hear the faint clicking of his fingers moving on the keyboard. Strangely enough, there weren't any eggs. Didn't they just go grocery shopping? Maybe dad half-assed it like he did everything else these past few weeks. He's been busy so she couldn't really blame him. Castiel pulled the container of cookies towards him and opened the lid, dunking a cookie in his coffee and shoving it between his lips. They were soft, and chewy. God, they were good. Castiel moaned gently around his mouthful, sticking his hand in the container again for another one. Claire caught him after what might have been his fifth cookie, scowling at him in a motherly way that reminded him all too much of Kelly. Claire really did act like her mother. She ended up looking more like her father in the end though, from the blue eyes to the lips. Claire looked almost identical to him minus the blond hair, Jack looked like a healthy mixture of both Castiel and Kelly.   
Claire took the container away from him, glancing down at her father's stomach which was sitting in his lap comfortably. She shook her head. Jack came wandering into the kitchen, he tugged at the hem of Castiel's small t-shirt and looked up at him. "Breakfast?" The three year old asked, his sweet face was too much for Castiel at the moment. "We don't have eggs but I can make you some cereal?" Castiel offered but Claire cut in. "We don't have any milk, dad." He looked over to his daughter. "What? I thought I just bought some." He got up from his seat and walked to the fridge, sure enough there was no milk. Castiel's face scrunched up on impulse in thought, turning towards his children with a most peculiar face, one that Claire couldn't read. He sighed. "Guess we can go out for breakfast for today, I'll make a list for groceries when we get home." 

They ended up back at the little bakery Dean owned. 'A Slice of Heaven' with it's dorky exterior and lively interior. Castiel was wearing a navy blue sweater with a white button up underneath, he looked like such a dad. Jack was holding his father's hand and happily skipping, Claire rolled her eyes. The little bell on the door ringed as they walked into the building. Jack was quick to run to the display case, pointing at the cakes and cupcakes inside. Castiel and Claire made their way to the counter to look at the menu, Saturday mornings were busy it seems. Mary rounded the corner and looked at the three, smiling. "I'll be right with you!" Castiel nodded as he looked back up at the chalkboard menu hanging on the wall. Maybe he should be looking for a place to sit, Jack was touching things that he shouldn't. Sighing, he grabbed Jack's hand and led them to a table in the corner. Claire followed behind them. Jack sat down at a booth and Claire sat beside him. She watched as Castiel squeezed himself in, belly pushing against the table as he bent down to seat himself. She shook her head. Once Castiel was somewhat comfortably seated, Mary appeared at the table with three menus. She placed them down on the table, Castiel thanking her before she asked them if they'd like drinks.   
Dean made his rounds through the restaurant, stopping at the Novak's table last. He smiled at the small family, clearing the plates and making small talk with Castiel. Claire discreetly looked over at Dean, who was so obviously flirting with her father, only for Castiel to obliviously continue on with no idea that Dean was flirting with him. Her eyes followed Dean's towards her father's situation. Squished between the booth and table, it looked so uncomfortable. Dean couldn't help but ogle. Castiel paid for breakfast, thanking Dean and attempted to push himself out of the booth. Jack bounced beside Claire, ready to get out and go home. Even though Dean wasn't at the table anymore, Claire could still feel his eyes fixed on her father. She almost didn't blame Dean for starring once she looked over. He was so huge that it was hard to miss, belly propped on the table as he shimmied his ass out. Her father looked absolutely ridiculous, he really needed to lose weight. Claire wondered for a moment, just a moment, about how much her father might weigh in at now. 400? 

True to his word, Castiel started making a grocery list when they got home. He sighed as he slightly waddled into the kitchen, notebook and pen in hand. He sat down at the island and quickly wrote in neat, tight cursive 'milk' and 'eggs'. Castiel turned in his chair to open the fridge, scanning the items. He squinted in confusion, didn't he just go grocery shopping? No eggs, milk, any sort of fresh fruits or vegetables. Castiel marked those down on his list as well. He was too bloated to get up from his spot at the island, but he was pretty sure that if they didn't have any fresh foods then chances are they didn't have any meat either. Chicken, Ground Beef, Pork. Castiel placed his pen down and called for Claire. "Yes dad?" Claire yelled from her room down the hall. "Can you come here please?" Claire sighed, getting up quickly to meet her father in the kitchen. He was sitting at the counter with his grocery list open, the fridge open beside him. "What?" She sighed, leaning against the counter. Castiel looked at her, his left eyebrow raised, eyes narrowed. He was unimpressed. "Try that again." The ever so apparent annoyance sounded in his voice. Claire straightened up and cleared her throat. "Yes, dad?" Castiel sighed, gesturing to the fridge slightly and turning to his list again. Claire got the hint, she rooted through the fridge and reported to her father what they would need. "Yogurt, cheese, another container of margarine." Castiel scribbled down the items as Claire called them out. She moved on from the fridge to the freezer, it looked pretty empty. "Geez dad, what did you even get when you went shopping?" Claire looked over her shoulder as she spoke. Castiel glanced up from his list and simply said 'food'. Claire shook her head, rolling her eyes at her father. "We need chicken and ground beef, probably some pork and frozen veggies." He continued to write. 

Castiel yawned gently, stretching his arms above his head and arching his back. His shirt rode up slightly on his belly as he did so. He hadn't gotten up from his place at the counter since they got home from breakfast. The grocery list had been finished for a while now but he decided to get some paperwork finished while he wasn't doing anything else. Jack was sitting in the living room playing with some toy cars quietly. It was already 3:30 and Castiel didn't have anything planned for dinner yet. He grunted as he pushed himself up off the bar stool, letting out a heavy sigh afterwards. Cas tore the grocery list from the notebook, folding and placing it in his back pocket. He slowly made his way down the hall to Claire's room, knocking on her door and waiting for a response. Claire opened the door slightly. "Yes?" Castiel pushed the door open gently. "I'm going to the grocery store, what do you want for dinner tonight?" Claire sat down on her bed and shrugged. "I don't really care, dad." Castiel sighed, shaking his head as he told Claire to keep an eye out for Jack while he was gone. He said goodbye to Jack and grabbed his keys. The grocery store wasn't too far from their house, in all honesty, Castiel could've walked but there was too much he had to get today. He got into the car and drove off. 

The grocery store wasn't huge so it was easy to get everything he needed, but it still took some time to find certain items on his list. Castiel grabbed a couple boxes of kraft dinner off the shelf and placed them into his cart when he heard someone calling his name. "Cas! Hey." He turned from the shelf to see Dean a couple paces in front of him. Castiel gave the baker a small smile as he grabbed a couple more boxes of macaroni. "Hello Dean." He said in his usual monotone, not quite certain of where to steer the conversation from there. He didn't need to worry though as Dean spoke up again. "How's it going?" Castiel looked over at Dean with a small shrug. "Alright, I guess, and yourself?" Dean chuckled lightly. "Good, thanks." Castiel nodded, returning his attention to the aisle signs overhead. They walked in silence for a moment before Dean spoke up again. "What are you and your family up to tonight?" Cas sighed quietly before responding. "I don't think anything for the most part, figuring out dinner." Dean nodded. "I'm having a get together tonight at 6, gonna be barbecuing up some burgers and stuff, if you'd like to join me?" Castiel looked over at the baker again and smiled. "Sure, thank you." Dean smiled happily. He gave Castiel his address and they parted ways. Castiel finished up his shopping and headed home, he had to make a salad or something for Dean's barbecue.  
He pulled into the driveway and grabbed as many bags out of the trunk as he could and went inside, asking Claire to grab the rest. The two of them put the groceries away, Castiel informing Claire about their change of dinner plans. The teen groaned loudly as her father finished speaking. Castiel placed his armful of groceries on the counter and turned to her, his hands on his hips in an annoyed fashion. "Claire, I don't appreciate this attitude that you've had lately. Why do you have such a problem with me trying to make friends?" Claire's eyes widened and her jaw dropped open. "Making friends? Dad, I love that you're making friends! I just don't understand how you can't see it? This Dean guy is literally flirting with you! Don't tell me you haven't noticed!" Claire gave her father an incredulous look. Castiel gave her a confused expression. "What... are you even going on about?" His tone changed significantly as he went back to putting the groceries away. So he had noticed Dean's flirting, he was just choosing to ignore it. "Dad, you can't just ignore it! You know he's been flirting with you!" Castiel angrily placed the kraft dinner in the pantry, his back to Claire as he huffed. "I'm an adult, Claire, not a moron." He turned to face her once he finished, sighing heavily and crossing his arms over his chest. "What do you want me to do about?" The slight anger in his voice told Claire that she was testing him. "Maybe tell him to stop? That you aren't interested?" She yelled. The words came out jealously, more so than she intended them too. She was angry and upset, she just didn't want her father to get hurt. He must have seen that too because he dropped his arms and his eyes widened slightly. Castiel sighed with understanding and sat down at the island, motioning for his daughter to join him. "Claire, I understand that you're looking out for me and I appreciate it." Claire cut him off before he could finish. "I just don't want you to end up hurt like you did last time, dad! The last relationship you were in ended horribly and she was awful to you, and I can tell that this guy probably won't be any better!" Her father sighed again before responding. "I know, Claire, but I'm tough. If it happens again, I'll get over it. I won't let it get to that point again, okay? I can't even guarantee that anything is going to happen between myself and Dean. Just, try to be a little more friendly, okay? You don't have to like him but could you at least pretend? Please?" Claire narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms and huffing. "Fine." Castiel leaned over and kissed her forehead gently. "Thank you."

The Novak family knocked on Dean's front door just before 6, a large container of salad in Castiel's hands. Jack was holding the dressing in the plastic bag from the grocery store. Claire hung behind her family. The door opened to reveal Dean, smiling happily as he welcomed the three inside. He took the container from Castiel and thanked Jack as the three year old handed him the bag of dressing. He led them to the backyard where a couple other people were already gathered, sitting around a fire pit. "Make yourselves at home, there's pop in the ice box outside or baked goods on the table. Help yourselves." Castiel thanked Dean and asked if he needed any help. Dean smiled. "Yeah, that would be appreciated!" Claire led Jack outside, their were other kids and teenagers here as well. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all.  
Dean introduced Castiel to his family, some of them worked at the bakery in town. "This is my dad, John. He works at the auto shop in town with my uncle Bobby. That's him over there." Dean pointed to a scruffy old man with a ball cap sitting by the fire. "This is my mother, Mary, who you've already met and my brother Sam and his wife Jessica." Dean then gestured towards the children at the little play structure in the corner of the yard. "The two little ones over there are my nieces, Paisley and Quinton." He looked over to the two young girls and smiled fondly, turning back to face the Winchester family. Castiel shook hands with John Winchester first, the dark haired man making him slightly uncomfortable. John eyed him from head to toe, clearly in a disapproving manner but nothing was said. He uttered a gruff 'hello' before dropping his hand. They moved on towards a larger group. Dean greeted them as they approached. A young blonde woman turned around and smiled fondly. "Hey Dean! Who's you're friend?" Dean looked over to Castiel with a smile. "This is Castiel, him and his family moved into the Anderson's old house just down the street." Castiel gave a curt nod in response. The blonde smiled. "Sweet! Nice to meet you, Castiel. I'm Jo, Dean's cousin." She held her hand out for Cas to shake. A man with a mullet walked up beside Jo, he appeared to be either stoned or drunk. Dean introduced him as Ash, his other cousin. Ash nodded his head upwards. "Hey." Castiel gave the younger man a tight smile. "Hello." Dean gave Ash Castiel's name and they moved on to the others in the group. Three women were standing in a little circle, wine glasses in their hands and giggling about something that was said. "There you are! We were just talking about you!" A short, plump woman spoke up. Dean laughed. "Good things, I hope!" The women laughed and Dean turned to Castiel. "This is Castiel Novak, his family just moved into the house down the street." He shook hands with each woman and they introduced themselves to him. "Sheriff's Jody Mills and Donna Hanscum. They have 2 foster daughters about Claire's age." Dean piped up afterwards. They walked away from the women and Dean quietly spoke. "Missouri Moseley, I swear she's psychic but if you ever need someone to talk to, she's a therapist. Also, she has a granddaughter a couple years older than Claire. Grade 12, I believe?" Castiel nodded, looking around the yard for Claire and Jack. He spotted Claire with a group of teenagers and Jack at the little playground with a couple other kids. He was relieved to see a small group of mother's and Mary watching over the children.   
Once introduced to everyone, Castiel made his way over to Claire. She was laughing, having a good time. Her eyes landed on her dad and she broke away from the group quickly. "You look like you're having fun. Made any new friends yet?" Castiel asked as his daughter came closer. Claire smiled and nodded, still giggling softly. "Yeah." She replied simply. Castiel nodded, "That's good." They talked for a bit before Castiel made his way back over to his little one. He sat down at the little bench and pulled out his phone, 2 missed calls from Garth. Castiel dialed Garth's number and pressed call. It rang a couple times before he picked. "Hello?" Garth's voice sounded through the receiver. "Hello, Garth." Castiel greeted evenly, "Was there something you needed? You phoned twice." Garth let out a heavy breath. "Yeah, just wanted to know how the new place was? Kids liking it?" His voice held way too much excitement for Castiel to keep up with. "I think so, Claire is going through mixed teenage feelings but Jack is fine. The house is still beautiful so that's good." Castiel could just see Garth smiling on the other end. "That's great! So when are you coming back?" They both laughed and Castiel sighed. "I don't know, Thomas might want me in next month if I can get someone to watch my children while I'm gone." Garth let out an understanding sigh. "I feel ya, dude." Castiel shook his head at the phrase, he honestly wasn't surprised anymore.

He and Garth had been friends for about 20 years. They had a somewhat scary first encounter and Castiel didn't even remember it. Before Castiel met Garth he was a huge drug addict. Everything from cannabis to crystal meth. He was around 21 years old when he had his overdose. A friend had invited him to a pent house party on June 11th, 1998 and he ended up taking more than he could handle. The alcohol didn't help the situation and he ended up blacking out. Long story short, he ended up outside of New York City on a set of train tracks in the middle of no where. He had been missing for 2 days, passed out in the field by the tracks. His face and name was all over the news, radio hosts were talking about him, news anchors were showing his face and the police were out looking for him. Castiel didn't know any of this though because he was half dead on the ground. It must have been 1 in the morning when he found himself on the train tracks. He lit his last joint, relishing in the smoke billowing up from the end. No idea where he was, no cares in the world, Castiel fell into a high. As the night went on and the sun started to rise, he could hear passing cars on the highway to his left. Close but so far away at the same time. He didn't remember the train coming and he certainly hadn't hear it either. The light on the tracks speeding towards him was nothing but a hallucination in his mind. Garth had been driving down the highway, the only person on the road in the early morning, when he heard the train blaring it's whistle. The noise piercing through the quiet. If Garth hadn't stopped on the side of the road that morning and noticed the man on the tracks, Castiel wouldn't have been around today. Garth had taken him to a hospital to help him flush the drugs out of his system and brought him home. Castiel owed his life to Garth. 

"So have you gotten back to work yet?" Garth asked, a curious tinge in his voice. "I've started yeah, but I haven't completed my office yet. Still working at the kitchen table." Castiel joked, a small smile on his face as Garth chuckled lightly. "Nice, dude." There was a pause. "Maybe I'll come out to see you guys. I'll text you when I know." Castiel nodded, "Sounds good, I gotta go though, crying child." Garth laughed and bid Castiel farewell. He pocketed his phone and got up, picking Jack up off the ground.


	3. Chapter Three

Castiel decided to help Dean clean up once everyone had started to pack up. Claire had taken Jack home to put him to bed, leaving her father with the Winchesters. Sam and Jessica helped clean up the backyard while their daughters played. Castiel would've let Jack play longer but an earlier incident on the play structure had the 3 year old all hung up. Claire had offered to take him home after that. Castiel had spent lots of the night with Sam and Jess talking about their kids. Quinton was three years, and Paisley was five. They lived just outside of town in one of the beautiful farm houses Castiel had seen on the drive into town. Castiel shook hands with Sam again his he said goodbye, smiling at Jessica and waving at the two girls as they left. John, Mary and Dean were left in the back yard. John joking with his son as they cleaned the barbecue, Mary was gathering the dishes to bring them inside so Castiel decided to gather up the garbage. The elder Winchesters didn't stay long, saying goodbye to their son and Castiel. Mary gave him a friendly hug and John shook his hand again before leaving. Dean thanked Cas for staying to help clean up. They headed into the kitchen to start dishes, Dean ran the tap and rinsed the plates and pans. "How old are your kids, Cas?" Dean asked over his shoulder, busy focusing on scrubbing the dishes clean. Castiel put the dish he was drying down on the table to return to the sink for another. "Jack is almost 3 and Claire is 15." He grabbed a plate from the sink and started to dry it off with his tea towel. Dean nodded, "Grade 9 or 10 this year?" Castiel put his dish down, "Grade 10." Once again Dean nodded, "That's a pretty big age gap between the two." Nodding, Castiel responded. "Yeah, 12 years. My wife and I weren't supposed to have Jack but I'm glad we did." Dean turned to give his full attention to Castiel, a smile on his face. "I guess you could call him a 'happy accident'." He almost immediately apologized after he said it, not wanting to offend the man, but Castiel was laughing. A bright smile on his face as he shook his head. "I guess you could call it that." Dean let out the breath he didn't know he was holding, smiling embarrassingly. He felt his cheeks burn and he turned back to the sink to finish his dishes. "You said you have a wife?" Dean asked cautiously, not wanting to bring up anything to deep. He heard a quiet sigh from behind him and turned to look at Cas. "Yeah, she died 3 years ago after giving birth to Jack, she was very sick." Castiel was looking down, holding the dish in his hand tightly. Dean stepped up and took the plate from Cas, wiping his hands after setting it down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He was cut off by Castiel shaking his head. "No, it's okay. You have no need to apologize, Dean." Castiel looked at Dean, blue eyes soft and glossy. His heart started to beat faster, he could've asked anything else instead of this. Dean pulled the larger man in for hug. "I'm sorry for bringing it up, Cas." Castiel laughed quietly as Dean pulled away. "What?" Dean asked, confused at most but with a small smile. The blue eyed man just shook his head. "You just remind me of her, that's all. Nothing bad, I promise." 

They talked about Kelly for a while before moving on. Castiel had learned a lot about Dean. He was 39 years old and opened the bakery up 4 years ago. Him and his family lived in Kansas until he was 12 years old, moving here to be with his grandpa who had gotten sick with cancer. Dean was supposed to go into the family business, his dad had always pressured him to become a mechanic, and sure Dean loved and appreciated cars as much as the next guy but it wasn't his passion. The only car he knew how to fix was his dad's old 1967 Chevy Impala that he inherited when he turned 21. They didn't just talk about Dean though, when Dean asked how old Castiel was he was shocked to hear the answer. "I just turned 46 in July." Dean's eyes widened, "What? You're kidding." Castiel laughed, crossing his arms over his chest. "No, I really am!" He defended himself with a smile. Dean was still shocked, amused. "Really. You don't look 46." He stated confidently. "That's because I'm fat, Dean, but I'm flattered none the less." Castiel laughed, shaking his head at the comment. "What does being fat have to do with it?" Dean asked with a playful tone. The blue eyed man raised his eyebrows, an amused smile on his face. "Being fat makes me look younger, I don't know." The two of them laughed. They continued to talk, not realizing the time until Claire had texted Castiel asking where he was. "Shit." Castiel muttered to himself as he read Claire's text, quickly replying. "I have to go, forgot I sent Claire home with Jack." Dean laughed, standing to guide Castiel out. "No problem." He opened the door for Castiel and stopped him before he left. "Hey, uh, Cas. Maybe, if it's okay with you, could I take you out to dinner sometime? I'd love to hang out with you more." Usually Dean was pretty smooth but he's only ever asked out girls. All the guys that he's dated asked him out. He hoped it didn't sound too much like a demand. Castiel was looking at Dean, eyes wide with his lips slightly parted. Dean watched as Cas wet his lips with his tongue, swiping it across his plump lower lip before returning it back into his mouth. He quickly thought about Claire and what she expressed about Dean today but he also thought about Dean. How his hair looked so hot when it was slightly messy, his beautiful lips with that slightly southern drawl. The tight grey v-neck he was wearing under his unbuttoned loose flannel, revealing the outline of his board chest. He swallowed thickly. "Yes." His voice was stern and deep, serious. He didn't give Dean time to respond though as he quickly left, almost running home. 

He entered the house quietly, assuming Claire was in her bedroom. Castiel locked the door and made his way to the kitchen to grab something to eat. He opened the pantry and grabbed the box of cookies he bought earlier, opening it up and stuffing one into his mouth. He heard Claire clearing her throat behind him and was so startled he jumped, emitting an embarrassing yelp. Mouth full, he turned to face Claire who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She looked annoyed and Castiel didn't blame her. "Where were you?" She snapped at him quietly, not wanting to wake Jack. Castiel swallowed before responding. "I stayed to help Dean clean up." He said quietly, closing the pantry door behind him. "That was four hours ago, Dad." Claire rolled her eyes as her father started to make his way out of the kitchen. He sighed heavily while rolling his own eyes at her. "I ended up getting sidetracked, Claire. Nothing to worry about." Claire stopped. "He asked you out, didn't he?" Castiel stopped, he was sucking on the inside of his cheek in annoyance. Turning to face her quickly, head tilted slightly to the right and eyes narrowed. "Yes." Claire rolled her eyes and scoffed. "And? What did you say?" Castiel looked her dead in the eyes. "Yes." Claire's eyes widened and she threw her arms up. "Dad!" "I know, I know, Claire!" Castiel raised his voice slightly, his eyes looking to the ceiling, his free hand open wide at his side exaggerating his words. Claire got like this every time he tried to move on from Kelly, when he asked someone out or when he got asked on dates. She was very protective of him. "He seems like a good guy. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life alone, Claire." Castiel spat in a quiet anger. The words hit Claire like a brick, it hurt her and Castiel saw it in her eyes. "You aren't alone, dad. You have Jack and I! And your brother and uncle Garth. And..." Claire yelled. He sighed, calming himself. "I didn't mean it like that, Claire." Claire narrowed her eyes. "Then what did you mean? You just met this guy, dad! Can't you just be content with us? You're always looking for somebody new and you always do this yourself! You find someone to fuck around with for a couple months and end up hurting yourself more!" Castiel's eyes narrowed defensively, lips clamped shut in a tight line. He bit back everything he wanted to say, his lips trembled. "Ever since mom died you've been aching to find someone! Can't you just stop to realize what you already have is good enough?" His eyes watered as he bit his lip, making it bleed. "Why are you trying so hard to find someone to replace mom?" Claire yelled, tears falling from her eyes. Castiel lost it at that, the tears that threatened to fall earlier streamed down his face. "Don't you fucking say that to me!" Castiel yelled, his voice laced with anger. "I'm not looking to replace her! Nobody could ever replace her! I'm not trying to fill the fucking void or fill any kind of sexual desires. I'm not looking to fill the fucking emptiness or whatever the fuck else you think I'm doing here!" Claire glared at her father, tears falling from her eyes. Fists clenched at her sides. Her lips were trembling with anger. "Don't you ever say that to me." Castiel whispered through shallow breathes. Large tears streaming down his cheeks, moistening his shirt where they fell. He wiped his face on the sleeve of his sweater. His whole body trembled and he shut his eyes tightly to stop the tears from falling. Castiel was trying so hard to calm himself down but nothing was working. He fell to his knees defeated and placed his head in his hands. Sobbing uncontrollably, his breathing becoming patchy and uneven making it extremely hard to breathe. Castiel was lightly rocking his body back and forth to calm himself. Claire was immediately at his side, arms around her father as he cried and he pulled her closer. He held her like it might be his last.

Castiel didn't wake up the next morning, not even when Jack went in to jump on the bed. His alarm clock rang at 9:30 and it was still going by 10:30 when Claire had finally had enough of it. She burst into her father's room. All the pictures of himself with Kelly had been placed face down, one was even broken on the floor. An old photo album was open on the bed surrounded by many various empty food packages. Most of which Claire remembered putting away yesterday. She sighed as she tiptoed towards the bedside table, trying not to disturb her father. He was snoring loudly, blanket half covering his body. She turned it off and grabbed the blanket, gently covering him with it. She took one last look at her father before she closed the door. Claire felt awful for what she had said to him last night. She was the reason behind his emotional eating last night. He probably ate until he passed out, and it made her stomach twist in guilt. This wasn't the first time she had brought up mom against his actions. She'd never said something that shallow though. He was so angry, Claire had never seen him angry like that before, she was so afraid that he might hit her. Claire remembered the stories that her mom would tell her about when Castiel was struggling with drug and alcohol abuse. She said that he used to get so angry that he'd hurt her sometimes. Her mother would always tell her that it got better though. Claire knew it had gotten better, Castiel had never raised his voice at her or her mother. He had never gotten angry, frustrated or annoyed with them. Castiel had always been patient with Claire. It used to scare her to know that her father could fall back onto drugs but he never did. It only started to scare her again when Kelly died, he had fallen into such a bad depression that his own mother emitted him into a mental health hospital. Castiel spent three months away from his kids, leaving them with his parents. Jack was only a couple weeks old when Castiel's mother Rebecka had caught him with a knife in his bedroom. It had gotten to the point where normal therapy wasn't helping and his parents thought he was going to kill himself. Since then the only coping mechanism that seems to work for him is eating. Nothing else has helped and they tried everything. She sighed sadly. He is filling the void, just not with a romantic relationship. 

"Dad?" She opened the door slightly to peek inside. "Dad?" Castiel hummed in response, to tired to speak. Claire entered the room, sat down on the foot of the bed. "Sam and Jessica are here, they were wondering if Jack wanted to come play today." Castiel sighed, "I don't know. Give me ten minutes." Claire left here father to go back to the living room. The two girls were playing with Jack happily. His little train set was laid out on the floor and they were building tracks. Jessica smiled when Claire came back to join them. Sam was too busy with the kids to notice. "He's coming, just said to give him ten minutes." Jessica smiled. "I hope we didn't take him away from working." Jessica said softly. Claire shook her head. "No, he wasn't working. It's fine." Castiel appeared a couple minutes later and Claire noticed that he looked awful. He had dark bags under his eyes, his eyes were red rimmed and watery from crying last night and he was sniffling. She watched as he rubbed his eyes tiredly and she quickly got up before anyone noticed he arrived. Jessica had turned to look in their direction and Claire turned him around. "You look like you've been snorting cocaine all morning." She whispered and Castiel turned his face slightly. "Thanks Claire, I really needed those wise words of encouragement." He slurred, voice loud enough for Jessica to hear. "Hi Castiel." Her voice was bright and cheery, Claire kept her grip on her father. "Claire, this is ridiculous. Let go of me." Castiel slightly slurred again. He wasn't making it any easier to explain to his guests that no, in fact, he did not snort cocaine and that he was just having a rough morning. He was close enough to the kitchen that he quickly grabbed his glasses from off the counter, Claire watched as he stumbled. Castiel put them on and faced Jessica and her eyes went wide. "Oh my god, are you okay?" Concern filled her voice as she put her wrist to his forehead to check for fever. Sam had gotten up now and was making his way over to them while the three children played. Claire face palmed so hard, embarrassed beyond words. Sam had made his way over and was asking questions too now. "Are you high?" Sam asked quietly, concerned. "No Sam, he isn't high. I don't smell any weed on him." Castiel was barely processing anything that was happening right now, he could barely function on a good morning and now he had people he just met yesterday all up in his face asking him if he was high. He opened his mouth to speak but ended up closing it again. He sniffled loudly, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his hoodie. Claire quickly interceded, excusing herself and her father from the situation. She pushed him into the kitchen, realizing that they could still see them. "What the hell is going on with you? Are you high?" Claire hissed as Castiel dragged his hands over his face and squished his fat cheeks together. He sighed, dropping his hands to his sides as he shook his head no. "So then what the hell, dad?" Claire asked again as he turned away from her to look for food. Castiel opened the fridge, "I'm hungry." He replied simply. "No! No, that is no excuse!" Claire hissed, maybe a little too loudly. Sam entered the kitchen, concern written all over his face. "Dude, if you're high, that's fine. I'm not going to judge you, we just want to know if you're okay." Sam was cautious, speaking slow and clear. Castiel closed the fridge door and turned to Sam. He looked him dead in the eyes with an annoyed and partially bored expression on his face. "No, I'm not high. In fact, I'm so far from being high you could say I'm at an all time low." Jessica had entered the kitchen now too, all three kids oblivious to what was going on. "You're brother asked me out last night. Which is fine because I find him quite charming but I have a daughter who thinks I'm trying to get into a relationship to find somebody to replace my dead wife. This daughter also thinks that I'm a horrible father because I decided to move here. She also thinks that I'm just some lazy, fat ass who does nothing but eat all day when really I'm tired of feeling alone and depressed, I'm doing what I thought was best for us and I work extremely hard to provide for us. I just can't seem to win or do anything right." Claire looked at her father, sure she wasn't very happy with him at the moment but she didn't know that she had been wearing him down so much. Both Sam and Jessica tried not to look at Claire, but they were both waiting for something to happen. Castiel blinked back tears. "Dad, I... I didn't know..." Claire started, the guilt she felt earlier returning. "Shit, I didn't... Fuck!" Castiel groaned as he looked at Sam and Jessica like he was just seeing them for the first time. He smacked his forehead with his hand. "God, I'm such a fucking idiot." He grumbled, placing his free hand on his hip and looking upwards. Sam could see he was holding back tears. "I apologize, I didn't get any sleep last night and I wasn't supposed to say any of that and everything was just supposed to be fine today." Jessica stepped up and hugged Castiel, consoling him gently. "I don't know much about you but I'm a nurse and I work with lots of patients who have depression. It's not good for you to be holding back all the things that are hurting you, just let it out. You're going to be okay."

Claire woke up in a cold sweat, Jack was sitting on the couch beside her watching tv. It was a dream, it was just a dream. A really twisted, guilt induced dream. That didn't make any of the words her dream father said not true though. He very well could be feeling like that and she didn't know. Wiping her forehead with her sleeve, sighing, she looked to Jack. It was 12:30, Jack seemed content where he was. Maybe Castiel was up now, either way she was going to check. Claire stood up quickly, telling Jack she'd be right back and walked down the hall towards their father's bedroom. She knocked quietly, waiting for an answer. When none came she opened the door a little. "Dad? Are you awake?" Still no reply so she stepped inside. The blanket was on the floor, Castiel snoring on the bed. The garbage and photo album had been pulled off the bed with the blanket, scattered on the floor. Claire sighed as she looked at her father. She walked over to the side of the bed and shook his shoulder, gently but hopefully with enough force to wake him. He stirred gently, mumbling something along the lines of 'leave me alone'. Claire shook him again. "Dad, come on." Castiel placed his hand over his eyes, swatting at Claire with the other. He was wearing a small t-shirt and his boxers were way too small. Honestly, it was kinda scarring to see. She looked past it anyways and continued to try to wake him up. Claire sighed, exasperated. "Dad, come on. You need to wake up. It's 12:30 now." Castiel groaned loudly and mumbled. "Yeah, yeah..." Castiel waved his hand dismally. Claire rolled her eyes and left the bedroom. Castiel sighed as he heard the door click behind his daughter. He rolled over, placing a hand on his belly and rubbing gently. He really needed to apologize to Claire about what he said last night, it was inappropriate and he didn't mean to be so harsh. Maybe he was using the idea of romance to get over Kelly's death. Obviously he wasn't over Kelly, he was still mourning her death three years after it happened. He tried therapy and he tried antidepressants but nothing seemed to work for him. Claire had even tried to get him help but it never worked. She was right about the people he had previously been with though, none of them treated him like a person. He didn't care about the past people he was with but he could admit that Claire was right about that. Sighing, he sat up, still rubbing his belly absentmindedly. His garbage was tossed on the floor, he rolled his eyes. Castiel grabbed a pair of jeans from his dresser and quickly got dressed. He cleaned the bedroom, picking up the garbage and the photo album off the floor. He made the bed, picking the picture frames up and placing them normally again. Hands on his hips, looking around the room to see if it was acceptable before leaving. Castiel nodded gently, good enough for him. 

Jack and Claire were playing with the train set in the living room, Thomas the train was playing on the television loudly. Castiel made his way towards the kitchen to make some coffee for himself, looking at his kids fondly. From now on, he was going to focus on his family, they are what is important right now. Right now, they need him and he needs them more than he needs someone to fill a hole in his life. The coffee machine dinged and Claire looked over, catching Castiel's eye. They held a gaze for a while before Castiel looked away sadly. He poured some creamer in his cup and put a spoonful of sugar in as well. Stirring, his head was somewhere else when Claire entered the kitchen. "Hey dad." He almost fell over in fear, body tensed. Glancing over at his daughter, he said, "You nearly gave me a heart attack." Claire smiled sadly, "Sorry." Castiel sighed fondly, a small smile on his face. "No worries, it's fine." He took his cup over to the counter and sat down, Claire sitting beside him. "I wanted to apologize for last night, Claire." Castiel started, starring into his cup absently. Claire traced the marble patterns on the counter top and shook her head. "You don't need to say sorry dad, I started it." She looked up from the counter. "I shouldn't have said those things about you last night. I know that mom's death is still pretty fresh to you and I know that you're lonely without her. And, I haven't been doing much to like, make you feel better when I keep putting you down and stuff. When I say things I really haven't thought about before I say them. You know?" Castiel had looked over at Claire, the amount of love in his eyes was overwhelming. Claire started to tear up and she looked away. "I'm really sorry dad, I didn't mean to hurt you last night and I certainly didn't mean to bring up mom like that. You can go on dates with whoever you want, I just want you to realize that your family is important too." Claire said in a hushed voice, looking down at the counter again. Castiel pulled Claire's chair closer to him and held on to her tightly. Her head cradled against his plush chest. He had tears running down his cheeks as he thanked Claire for such a heartfelt apology. He apologized to her as well, he held her hand and smiled. Claire wiped the tears from her father's eyes with her sweater sleeves and smiled with him.

Their was a knock at the door around 2 o'clock, Claire answered it and was surprised to see Dean. "Hey Claire, is your dad around?" Dean mentally slapped himself after the words came out of his mouth. "That sounded so fucking creepy, sorry." He quickly said as Claire shook her head. "Yeah, it kinda did." She laughed and let him inside. "I'll go grab him." She left Dean at the front door and hurried down the hall to find her father. He was in his bedroom watching tv with Jack, her little brother sleeping on his belly. Castiel was probably asleep as well because when she called for him he startled. Eyes opened wide, belly shaking as he quickly sat up. He realized that Jack was still on his belly and he shushed his crying child. Jack wailed, startled awake and scared. Castiel picked him up gently and shushed him quietly, humming gently while bouncing him on his belly. "Shh, shh, shh, baby." Castiel whispered gently, he looked so tired. "Dean's here for you." Castiel looked over to his daughter and nodded. Jack had stopped crying so he placed him back down on the bed. He thanked Claire as he left the bedroom. Castiel was delighted to see Dean in the doorway, he welcomed him inside and sat him down in the living room. "Coffee, tea, water?" Castiel offered and Dean smiled, "Water would be fine, thanks Cas." Cas smiled and turned to leave. Dean watched him walk into the kitchen, damn his ass was gorgeous. The way his hips swayed when he moved, his soft thighs rubbing together as he walked. He was beautiful, honestly. Dean caught Claire's glaring look and he instantly turned his head. Castiel came back with two glasses of water and sat across from Dean on the couch. Dean couldn't keep his eyes off Castiel, he usually wasn't attracted to people who were overweight, but Castiel was different. He could still feel Claire's eyes fixed on him and it was incredibly unsettling. Castiel noticed the shift of atmosphere and quickly turned his head towards the hall. "Hey! What happened to what you said this morning? Lay off, kid." Castiel joked and Claire scoffed from the hallway. "Whatever, old man." They could hear a door closing down the hall and Cas shook his head, slightly offended. "Old man..." Dean laughed gently. "You look pretty young to me for what it's worth." Castiel laughed, shaking his head gently. "You don't have to flatter me, Dean." He said in a slightly playful tone.   
Jack tiredly wandered into the living room, dragging a blanket behind him as he rubbed his eyes. "Daddy...?" He mumbled as he looked over to Castiel. Castiel watched as his little three year old toddled towards the couch and climbed into his lap. Jack snuggled up against his father's belly and pulled the blanket close to his face. Castiel smiled as he draped it over top of Jack's little body. He looked over at Dean and mouthed. "Nap time." Jack had fallen asleep quickly enough. 

Once Claire heard the front door closing she decided to come out of her room. The whole thought of Dean hitting on her father made her want to throw up, he was so bad at flirting. Also, he just met her dad, couldn't he have just settled for friends to start with? It just weirded her out. Everytime Dean was around her father his eyes would be on Castiel's body, starring at his belly or his ass. Claire got bad vibes from Dean and it wasn't just from the creepy starring. She padded into the living room where her father was watching tv with Jack. "Dad, can we talk?" She asked quietly. Castiel turned to look at her and nodded, slowly getting up from his place on the couch to follow her into the kitchen. They sat at the island and Claire kept her eyes trained on the marble counter top, observing the jagged, smoky-grey lines running through stark white. "Is there something wrong?" Castiel asked quietly, breaking the silence between the two. "Yeah, kinda..." She started hesitantly, she had known what she wanted to say but didn't quite know how to word it so that her father didn't get angry at her again. Claire took a deep breathe before continuing. "I just think that Dean is trying to move this, whatever he thinks he's gonna get from you, way too fast. Dad, we just moved here and you already have a creepy guy asking you out on dates. We've barely even settled in let alone been here long enough to have someone ogling over you already." Castiel sighed heavily, folding his arms on the counter top. "I know. I told him today that I wasn't quite ready for anything to happen just yet. We have too much we have to do right now in order to become familiar and comfortable here and family comes first." He was looking at Jack as he finished his sentence. "It's what's best for us all right now."He looked back to Claire with a little smile. "And besides, we haven't even gone on our date yet." Claire laughed as she shoved her father playfully. "Eww, dad! You can't call it a date." "Well what am I supposed to call it? An outing?" He asked genuinely, a curious express plastered on his face. "Eww, no. Not that either." Claire shook her head with a small smile on her face. "I'll ask around today for a babysitter and we'll figure out where we're doing, okay?" Castiel explained quietly, giving his daughter a smile. "That sounds good to me, dad."


End file.
